DECORATING ADVICE FOR A MARRIED FRIEND

I received an email from my girlfriend Darryl not too long ago requesting my advice on how to settle a dispute in her marriage to Hugh. Many friends are currently working on remodeling projects, so I thought I would offer a piece of worthwhile advice.   

Dear Carrie, Hugh and I are having a little disagreement about a mirror that I want to buy for the (only) bathroom at our vacation home. It would be the main mirror over the sink. I love this mirror and Hugh says it would make him nauseaus. I guess it's too feminine for him.

I would appreciate any input. Do you like it? Would your husband agree to have it? Does your husband even get a choice in such matters?
Thanks,
I knew you'd understand, Darryl

Darryl's first mistake was asking her husband what his opinion was to begin with, and secondly hoping for an answer that would confirm her good taste.  My response was as follows:

Hi Darryl!

Thanks so much for including me in your opinion seeking:  I LOVE THIS KIND OF STUFF!!!

1.  I believe your mirror choice is tasteful, functional, fanciful, sophisticated, sassy, and could possibly be the crowning glory of your bathroom.  What I am saying is, that basically, who usually notices the bathroom mirror? And with your choice the mirror becomes a unique and subtle accent without making too bold of a statement.  I also like the versatility of changing up the ribbon with limitless possibilities through color and texture which could play a big role in Hugh's feelings toward the mirror.

2.  Believe me, after having been through several room remodels with my husband I am still regretting a handful of the decisions which I finally gave into my husband over - while I know for a fact the decisions he surrendered to me he hasn't thought twice over. Bottom line in my marriage, we ask one another - "How important is it to you REALLY?" - when it is THAT important (and a bathroom mirror would be that for me) stick to your guns.

3.  If all else fails, just tell him if he surrenders to you in this decision that you promise to let him look in the controversial mirror the day it arrives and watch you giving him a blowjob (or fulfill whatever his sweet spot is!).

Good luck and I can't wait for all of us to get together soon!

Carrie

P.S. In the future - just buy these kinds of things ahead of time on your own and don't ask for your husband's opinion.  Men usually won't notice interior decor unless they are asked to! :)

Growing up with my mother Joan Crawford, I was taught at a very young age that when home decor purchases are unloaded from the car - they go directly to the back of a closet.  Over the next several weeks, a new throw pillow might magically appear on the living room couch overnight - or a round end table that had once been covered with a taffeta table skirt could suddenly change to become naked and square shaped.  It always took at least six months for my father to say something like, "Where did THAT come from?" - Joan would just give him a look of confusion and say, "We have had THAT forever!  Haven't we Carrie?"  Of course I was never lying when I would assure my father that Mom bought that at last year's Macy's clearance sale. 

Darryl ended up taking my advice regarding the mirror and, in the end, her husband had a feeling quite different from the nausea he had anticipated the mirror would bring him.  Let's just say every time Hugh looks in that mirror, he can't help but see the bright reflection of his smile recalling the good times he and his previous nemesis have shared together.  Of course, like any fashionable woman, Darryl is quite bored with the mirror now and ready to change it up again.  Hopefully, this time, she will simply buy what she loves and laugh quietly to herself when Hugh ceases to ever realize the mirror is not the same one which was instrumental in tightening their marriage bond.